he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize