You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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