at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
