You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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