I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
