I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
