She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
