D3 body, D1 cock
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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