Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
