I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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