Just fell off a train. Bad.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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