I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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