Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize