When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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