Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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