i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize