Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
