Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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