I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
