Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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