Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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