Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
