I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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