pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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