That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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