i don't like sucking hair
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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