is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.