I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
