i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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