oh fat girl friday strikes again...
no you cant smoke seaweed
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
