Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
