I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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