I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize