yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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