"it" just moved
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
