He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
