Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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