my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
