so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize