i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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