totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I intend to get homeless drunk
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
