My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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