i was born a porn star she said
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Randomize
