ugly people sure do ruin things
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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