Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
