I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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