why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
