Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
