So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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