Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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