Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
