The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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