You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
