I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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