True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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