eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
false alarm, still single
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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