"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
