Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
