so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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