I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
