Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
