I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
