When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize